The book of Scandals

I wish someone would do a book on a century of scandals and scams in India. 
It can begin with the love child of the first Indian Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru and Tabtrik woman Shardha Mata and may even have stories that link Motilal Nehru with Jaddanbai’s mother (I think Duleepa Bai) and Jaddanbai’s union leader brother’s claims that he was Jawaharlal Nehru’s half brother!
The firstever scam in a free India – was it Mundhra scandal or Jeeps scam? – can figure in it.  
It can have stories of how Devika Rani eloped with her English lover, how Kamini Kaushal’s husband chased Dilip Kumar with a gun  for seducing his wife, an all correct Shobhna Samrath (Kajol’s grand mother with a Sita like image) and her relationship with Motilal and innuendo about Nutan being his daughter…
to
a politically correct Aamir Khan’s love child…
Salman Khan’s midnight knocks on the doors of Aishwarya Rai, telephonic abuses and physical assaults on her…
How Priyanka Chopra has almost broken the marriage of Shah Rukh Khan…
Why Sanjay Dutt couldn’t marry Tina Munin and Madhuri Dixit and instead ended up with Maanyata…
The scams involving Vadra, the Prime  Minister,  2G, Coalgate, Radia tapes scam that muddied the names of Barkha Dutt and Vir Sanghavi…
I am one of the very few who can do it. I have had my ears to the ground. 
I’d do it if I wasn’t alteady working on my next novel 🙂

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That Imran Khan won from the areas that were considered strongholds of Taliban should have been enough for the red light to appear but our connections-obsesed celebrities didn’t give a damn. They were thrilled to find their ‘friend’ Imran Khan strengthening his hold in Pakistan and welcomed it. 
Now, his man nominated Chief Minister of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Pakistan, Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf’s Pervaiz Khattak has openly invited Taliban for peace talk and said they should also play their role to ensure peace in the province.
He has said that they do not feel any hostility with Taliban and are ready for talks with them. 

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As if one was not enough…

shahrukh-khan-photo
“Look Pandurang, don’t you how I am? How dare you…you motherfucker, bhaanchod…bastard…Mere ko rokte ho? Mere ko?…Main tere ko dekh loonga…” the dialogue may come from some MLA, drunk on power or a film star high on alcohol and drugs…
What should the policeman / security guy do?
Swallow his pride along with the paan and apologize, “Saab, I’m sorry…my eye sight is bad. I didn’t see who I was talking to…arre saab, hum kaun hote hain aapko rokne walle…” and should vent his frustration on the nobodies (that is the taxpaying citizens), his family, neighbours, friends, colleagues….
This is the lesson (!) you learn from…
The CCTV clippings of the MLAs bashing up the traffic cop in assembly has not been made available to police and the House committee set up to probe the thrashing of a police officer by a group of legislators in the assembly premises has recommended departmental inquiry against the traffic sub-inspector Sachin Suryavanshi and revocation of suspension of three of the five MLAs.
In another similar case, the security guard who took panga with Shah Rukh Khan has been asked to go on leave today as SRK will be at Wankhede today.
Maharashtra Congress unit has asked MCA allow SRK to attend IPL game at Wankhede today. Everyone knows that SRK is close to Gandhis!
And while on the topic, I must note that SRK has been manipulative from day one!
He stole the show from under the very nose of Sunny Deol, a simple jaat, in Darr. Sunny could never forgive Yash Chopra for the betrayal. But Chopra and SRK became buddies for life. SRK did the very same thing to Akshay Kumar in Dil To Paagal Hai and to Salman Khan in Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge.
Akshay is manipulative in his own ways. He has sat with the directors on editing tables and got the scenes of a simple Simon Suneil Shetty and no-nonsense Ajay Devgn chopped off. Neither works with him now.
Now that, both, SRK and Akshay have common enemies in Salman and Ajay, they are ganging up. They are planning a film together.
As if one was not enough…

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R R Patil – The Height of Arrogance

The height of arrogance. If the Deputy CM of Maharashtra offers urine to the drought hit farmers – even his apology was not visible on his arrogant face – another NCP minister seems as haughty…
R R Patil, the Home Minister wants his car (state-owned and with lal batti) directly reach the aircarfts! No frisking, and of course no walking on the tarmac for any minister (Sushil Kumar Shinde is driven in airport car up to the aircraft) unless it is during ‘once in five years begging for the votes’ and no security checks!
This is ridiculous in a State where the former Home Ministers, belonging to the same NCP with home he shares the surname – Padamsingh Patil – is charged with murder! Patil was produced in a judicial court in Panvel yesterday and has been remanded to CBI custody till June 14.
The CBI have in their possession confession of an accused in the case against Patil. As always happens in case of VIPs charged with serious crimes, besides denials, the defence also is raising the issue of the health of the minister.

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Saw ‘Bombay Talkies’.
Bollywood folks are notorious for sneaking in their agenda whenever they have an opportunity and taking the industry colleagues for a jolly ride.
Celebration of 100 years provided this opportunity to Karan Johar and company.
Here is the official agenda: to glorify the magic of films.
Here is the unstated agenda:
1. To project gay angst. Karan’s film.
2. To curry favours with Katrina Kaif. For this Zoya Akhtar has blatantly glorified Katrina as an inspiring symbol, an angel and messenger for the children. Yeh alag baat hai ke the message is the same old one: follow your dream.
3. To pacify and glorify Amitabh Bachchan. Nothing wrong with it except that it is Anurag Kashyap doing it. He had a public spat with Bachchan and won over the Bachchan with this eulogy. Ye alag baat hai ke the writer of the original story has dragged him to court for stealing his story.
4. To cut down Salman Khan, Kajol and Ajay Devgn to size by not including them in the title song and by avoiding any mention of the three. This way Karan Johar is currying favours with Shah Rukh Khan who hates the ground Salman and Ajay walk. Kajal, though might have opted out to show her support for husband Ajay Devgn.
5. Now that Bal Thackeray is no more, to quietly bring Bombay back in the vocabulary.
6. To rename Bollywood (which appears mocking the 100 year old industry) Bombay Talkies. I had once suggested replacing this silly name with Bombay. But industry folks were scared. I suggested Bombay as Hollywoodland was the name of the city where they started making movies. The film industry there was named Hollywood. Here the Bombay film industry had been named Bollywood, Bengali as Tollywood ( ref: Tollygung), Madras industry as Mollywood and Lahore industry as Lollywood. It is as if wood = films.
But Bollywood has stuck and it’d be difficult to rename it…

As for the 4 story-movie, the only story worth watching is Dibakar Bannerjee’s. You can skip the rest.

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